Next year wish? Haha i have it! To be kinder than this year, always wish for others well-being and help n respect others anytime and anywhere i can, not only for the next year, but also the following year, following following year, following following following year ..... until the day i met my end! Yesh!!!! Be the EXTREME person i can be !!! I AM EXTREME!!!!!!! YOSH!!!!! A SHOUT TOWARDS THE SKY!!!!! EXTREMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! YOSH!

seriously== as a communication student --... i suck at communicating -- !

Sometimes, i will feel very lonely.. not having a person who truly understand me or truly know me.. not even my family, and i dun even have any best friend now.. i mean friend that are closer to me... somehow to the one i called as best friend in past few months or etc, i felt betrayed by her.. but, its ok ... its her choice ... wanting to be with who its her choice, nor i did make any effort to be friend with her again.. Although i did ask her out for dinner once after that fight we had, but well.. to be truth i was really disappointed.. she tried to ask me out once for drinks, but due to the assignment i need to handle that time, i denied her.. and she didn't try to approach me agn.. yet she's my good friend, i mean closest friend to me (in the past).. why didn't she try 1 more time, why didn't she put more effort when dealing with me? she always have problem with her other friends, but she always try so hard to be friends with them. when its me, i dunno.. maybe she thinks that i will always be there. Do you know how i feel when i saw her suddenly get so close with the other friend after we rarely meet? to me it seems like i am not needed. Did she know how i feel when i approached her for dinner and she just put almost all her time with her other best friend over me? i am like a outsider in 'their' group.. well tell you the truth that feeling is not good.. Why didn't try to approach me once more? Why don't she put more effort in having me as a friend? you know i was really tired of this.. i didnt want to approach her anymore, until she approach me.. just once, what i want is just once.. just once i hoped that she will really put effort in our friendship.. In the past, i was so frustrate, i tried and tried and tried to be close with her..and finally i convinced myself to let her go.. i do not want to care anymore.. but in the end we got back as closer friend.. yet when there's a problem with our friendship again.. i can see she did not put much effort into holding our friendship.. even when she's going to graduate.. truly i'm very disappointed with her.. but its ok .. again, its her choice.. i cannot control her nor her life.. well maybe she's disappointed with me as well? not that i care anymore now~ Yes after that, i was adapted to living alone~ although i was alone from the start, well you can say i was being even more alone now~ without true friends or family by my side.. yes i do not have really close relationship with my family members, i know that, but they are truly the best family i can get, they are kind and treat me so well.. but its just that they dont understand the real me.. again, its ok .. i don't blame them.. im at fault as well.. because i dun really give them chance to know the real me.. but somehow i get lonely.. even though i have adapted or used to being alone.. well they say humans are "herd" creatures, they need to be with their flock. Anyhow, i have myself to depend on.. so its ok.. people will be alone eventually.. so its not a big matter.. its just that sometimes im very lonely.. sometimes, well you can say most of the time im very happy being alone~ i didnt need to put on masks in front of people or even instant messaging.. i hate that alot.. really i hoped i can show everyone who i am, who i truly am.. i did.. tried...just a bit.. but~ well you know~ people don't like~ so i create distant with them, not too close, not too far... but there's a wall between it. because i really hoped that i will have someone who know who i truly am and happy for it.. [although the real me is not that good~ haha, well anyhow i still want someone who know me for who i am not that stupid mask ] whether is couple, friend or family or etc~ but i know i shouldnt hope to much, because i did not put effort on knowing who they truly are as well.. again i didnt blame anyone ~ despite the fact that i wanted someone who know who i truly am, i still hoped that no one knows me, even if i will be very lonely.. because the burden arose when you really want them in your life, wanted to be as good as possible so they don't get away from you, from your life... well this happens with the ex-closest friend i said earlier in this post. she knows a lot about me, but den again she don't really know me.. you know this is kinda complicated shit~ well what ever~ since our relationship have degraded from "closest friend" to well what can i say~ normal friend. just a title and feelings~ not much anyway~ we are still friend~ but den again~[as a conclusion] from all those lonely shit i have said~ i preferred to be alone.. and i am really happy with it~ human contact or relationship now really burden me.. and well you know my communication skill really below normal~ cause living alone for so many years~ blabla~ again~ alone banzai!!! its lonely sometimes~ not all the time~ i love to be alone~ so BANZAI!!~ XDD

for me XD

i was wondering what if people from few hundred years ago travel to this timeline.. I'm sure they will be having a shock of their life.. That will be v.funny hahaha XDD

be strong me, BE STRONG !!!! U CAN DO IT!!! U HAVE TO DO IT!!!!!! u have no1 and have no choice, U HAVE TO DO IT!

还记得，在小时候，非常的喜欢看故事书，那些１０１夜啊～童话故事啊～恩～都很美好呢～虽然（现在）我在某方面不太赞同他们的逻辑（故事的逻辑），可是我还是很喜欢那些故事呢！哈哈！知道吗！最近我刚刚遇到我的小学同学。。他告诉我以前的我是很安静的呢！不太吵得！（其实现在也是，我不喜欢太吵和一直说话），但是呢，我一些工作朋友都不相信呢。。哈哈！虽然现在我真的是满吵得，但是其实我真的不太喜欢说话的。。我虽然有时候喜欢吵。。但是大多数的我其实很安静，也很喜欢安静的～我喜欢自己一个人～静静的看书～玩游戏～看动漫～等等的！哈哈！其实在很多人的围绕着我，其实我真的有时候觉得很不舒服的。。哎。。这种感觉不太好噢？哈哈！哎～不知道啦～我希望以后呢～可以自己一个人，和一群无家可归的小朋友，和小动物～组成一个家庭，我做他们的，姐姐，然后给他们一个家～然后自己也有一个自己建立起来的家～然后呢，不需要再管其他是事情。。就这样开开心心的和家人一起生活～我很喜欢这种感觉～啊！不是说我不喜欢现在自己的家人哦！他们是超好的！可是我就是希望跟小朋友无忧无虑的生活～简简单单，开开心心的就好了～哈哈！然后最重要的就是！我可以无忧无虑的做自己～这样就好了～

我看我永远都不会了解战争的意义。。

战争，为了什么？保护？如果每个人都因为战争而死亡，那么到底是保护什么。说什么要保护家人，家园，如果要保护，是永远都不会让他有被侵略的机会，更何况是战争。

报仇？我是不知道报仇的真正含义。对我来说，报仇就是，我杀你重要的人，你生气，然后为了报仇我又要杀回你们的。。失去重要的人是很痛苦的。。但是，这样杀来杀去，最后痛苦的还是自己和自己最重要的人，何必呢。。 但是，我是不知道当时的痛。。所以我真的不懂，也不想懂。。因为对我来说，这些杀来杀去，最后只会是两败俱伤。。对两方都没有利益，我不想吃这种亏。。 ~ 哈哈~到头来我还是贪心，贪生怕死。。~

想要改变世界？占有世界？那更离谱。。这只是那个人自己，无知，傲慢和贪心的愿望而已。。什么都想要，到最后你会发现其实你什么都没有。。想要改变世界？那么为什么不要先改变自己？让自己变得更好的人。。你觉得自己是世界最完美，最好的人？那么，你就是世界最不完美的。。因为最完美的。。只有更好的。。

我不喜欢战争，战争只会让大家付出很大的代价，让无辜的人痛苦。。然后让下一代，下下一代，下下下一代，下下下下一代。。。染上了恐惧的颜色而已。。但是我知道这些都是不能避免的。。因为我们是人。。 人有七情六欲，贪生怕死，权利的诱惑，等等等等的东西。。 但是到头来我们其实就只是一个凡人。。不多不少。。死了，就只留下“身体”，你什么都不能带走。。 但是我觉得我们可以在生前做好事，至少可以留下好的回忆给自己，给家人，给下一代的人。。死了，告诉自己，这世我活得最棒的我，我毫不后悔，我的生活很精彩。。 虽然我知道每个人的观点不同。。但是，无知的我是知道没有一个人有剥夺别人生存的权利，也没有一个人有主宰世界的权利。。这个世界不是一个人的，是每个人的。。

为什么人类不能在单纯一点呢？。。哎。。。

IM A DISNEY MANIAC!!!!!! WOOOHOOOOO!!! --feeling crazy xD

does anyone read the lazy king light novel? ... I guess im getting his traits.... why am i not born in that era.. TT_TT just sleeping and slack around and you will get powers.. what a nice power and world to be in.... TT guess that will never happen to me... HATE PAPERWORK TO DAH MAXXX!!!! ZZZ

Stop whinning and complaining just do your work and finish it fast and you will get the time to sleep!
Urgh... but.. but.. there's more to come after this ... TT I just dun wanna do it!
Just do ittt!!! -- !!
(Internal conflict) == [i guess the lazy 1 wins....] TT URGHHHH!!!